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#2079 Up↑ +1/1 Down↓ [Report] 2011-11-04 19:52 EDT

Dr. Winkel: Threatening to lower their grades is the only thing that works on Stuyvesant students.
Dr. Winkel: They don't even feel physical pain.

Tags: band winkel
#2075 Up↑ +30/36 Down↓ [Report] 2011-11-01 22:55 EDT

// Student is trying to enter cafeteria but left ID card at home.
Student: Come on, you recognize my face don't you?
Mr. Lostal: I don't even recognize my own face.

Tags: lostal
#2070 Up↑ +5/21 Down↓ [Report] 2011-11-01 20:55 EDT

Ms. Gorla: Do you guys do track?
*silence*
Ms. Gorla: Okay, then, do you skate?
*silence*
Ms. Gorla: What DO you guys do?!
Students: Physics.

Tags: gorla physics
#2069 Up↑ +16/20 Down↓ [Report] 2011-11-01 20:53 EDT

Mr. Francis: But how do you know Dante's alive while he's in Inferno?
Student: Is it the light in his eyes?
Mr. Francis: No! What is this, Twilight?!

Tags: euro.lit francis twilight
#2065 Up↑ +6/16 Down↓ [Report] 2011-11-01 20:47 EDT

Mr. Francis: ...Then there's the Greeks versus the Amazons, but it's sometimes the Greeks versus the Persians, which is nice because then it's -
Student: SPARTAAA!!!
Mr. Francis: ...I was going to say "historical".

Tags: euro.lit francis greek
#2061 Up↑ +23/25 Down↓ [Report] 2011-10-28 10:34 EDT

Mr. Mott: You should enjoy my class like a good bowel movement.

Tags: bowel class mott movement
#2060 Up↑ +28/28 Down↓ [Report] 2011-10-27 22:20 EDT

Mr. Choubaralian: Today is a special day.
Student: Is it your birthday?
Mr. Choubaralian: No, Battlefield 3 comes out today.

Tags: choubaralian phys.ed
#2059 Up↑ +14/18 Down↓ [Report] 2011-10-27 18:23 EDT

Student: An apple a day keeps the doctor away...
// Mr. Fisher overhears as he walks by with two soda cans.
Mr. Fisher: So does cherry soda.

Tags: fisher
#2058 Up↑ +12/14 Down↓ [Report] 2011-10-27 16:49 EDT

// Talking about forces
Strasser: So therefore, the easiest way to lose weight is in free fall. If the scale is falling, and you're falling, then... you're weightless! You don't even have to go on a diet.
Student: So wait. If you're just super-fat though, and you're in space... and we all have our own force of gravity... how bad would you feel if something just started to orbit you?

Tags: physics strasser
#2057 Up↑ +32/32 Down↓ [Report] 2011-10-26 23:29 EDT

Mr. Sandler: Did I ever tell you guys how my wife and I came up with our son's name? His name's Bernie, after my great grandpa Bernie. The rest of it is Oscar Salino Sandler. So his initials are B.O.S.S. cause he's the boss!

Tags: jewish.history sandler
#2056 Up↑ +34/34 Down↓ [Report] 2011-10-26 18:09 EDT

Student: Yo, last night I had a dream that we got back the tests we took yesterday and I got a 36.
Mr. Cocoros: It must have been a very good dream then!

Tags: ap.calculus.bc cocoros
#2055 Up↑ +23/25 Down↓ [Report] 2011-10-24 23:05 EDT

Pluchino: Overall, just know that swallowing radioactive substances doesn't give you magical superpowers.
Pluchino: It gives you cancer.

Tags: chemistry pluchino
#2054 Up↑ +21/25 Down↓ [Report] 2011-10-24 11:16 EDT

//Mr. Cocoros walks into Mr. DW's class and whispers into his ear

Mr. DW:  That's awesome!
Class:  ??
Mr. DW:  Mr. Cocoros just told me that the McRib is coming back.
Mr. Cocoros:  It's probably good that you guys are sitting down.

Tags: cocoros dyrland-weaver mcrib
#2049 Up↑ +23/35 Down↓ [Report] 2011-10-19 23:10 EDT

Dr. O'Malley: Always respect the math: First comes the mathematicians, then the physicists and chemists, then the little things...like english and stuff.

Tags: o'malley organic.chemistry
#2048 Up↑ +22/28 Down↓ [Report] 2011-10-19 20:51 EDT

// Class is going over test.
Ms. Herrara: Some of you spelled 'complement' with an 'i'.
Ms. Herrara: Like you were giving a compliment to acute angle.
Student: That was a bad joke.

Tags: geometry herrara

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#2079 Up↑ +1/1 Down↓ [Report] 2011-11-04 19:52 EDT

#2075 Up↑ +30/36 Down↓ [Report] 2011-11-01 22:55 EDT

#2070 Up↑ +5/21 Down↓ [Report] 2011-11-01 20:55 EDT

#2069 Up↑ +16/20 Down↓ [Report] 2011-11-01 20:53 EDT

#2065 Up↑ +6/16 Down↓ [Report] 2011-11-01 20:47 EDT

#2061 Up↑ +23/25 Down↓ [Report] 2011-10-28 10:34 EDT

#2060 Up↑ +28/28 Down↓ [Report] 2011-10-27 22:20 EDT

#2059 Up↑ +14/18 Down↓ [Report] 2011-10-27 18:23 EDT

#2058 Up↑ +12/14 Down↓ [Report] 2011-10-27 16:49 EDT

#2057 Up↑ +32/32 Down↓ [Report] 2011-10-26 23:29 EDT

#2056 Up↑ +34/34 Down↓ [Report] 2011-10-26 18:09 EDT

#2055 Up↑ +23/25 Down↓ [Report] 2011-10-24 23:05 EDT

#2054 Up↑ +21/25 Down↓ [Report] 2011-10-24 11:16 EDT

#2049 Up↑ +23/35 Down↓ [Report] 2011-10-19 23:10 EDT

#2048 Up↑ +22/28 Down↓ [Report] 2011-10-19 20:51 EDT