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#2009 Up↑ +10/18 Down↓ [Report] 2011-09-25 20:22 EDT

// Mr Valentin talking about our first homework assignment, which is simply filling out a form about our information online

Mr Valentin: It's so easy that a primate can do it. Do you know what a primate is? Like apes, orangutans...
Student: Like Bronx Science.

Tags: global valentin
#1778 Up↑ +115/121 Down↓ [Report] 2011-03-11 21:10 EST

// Kid comes into Weil's class and asks for Mr. Waxman and leaves
Weil: That kid thought I was Mr. Waxman. I'm not.
Weil: I'm prettier.

Tags: global weil
#1623 Up↑ +122/132 Down↓ [Report] 2011-01-11 21:41 EST

Dunkel: I think all New Yorkers are good at physics. Why? When they're jaywalking they can calculate the velocity of upcoming cars and determine whether they should walk or run.

Tags: dunkel freshman global
#1568 Up↑ +123/131 Down↓ [Report] 2010-12-15 22:06 EST

Ms. Shuman: Careful trying to reach that TV up there.
Student: It's OK, I can reach it.
Ms. Shuman: I just don't want it to fall on your head.
*Pause*
Ms. Shuman: Then again, if it does... one less paper to grade.

Tags: global history shuman
#1566 Up↑ +50/54 Down↓ [Report] 2010-12-15 22:03 EST

Student: Where was the Colossus at Rhodes?
Ms. Shuman: At Rhodes, obviously.
Student: What about the Pyramids of Giza?
Ms. Shuman: You're kidding.

Tags: global history shuman
#1483 Up↑ +54/66 Down↓ [Report] 2010-10-28 21:15 EDT

// Student falling asleep on desk
Mr. Badgley: Hey! Need some drugs?

Tags: badgley global
#1418 Up↑ +26/30 Down↓ [Report] 2010-09-25 00:33 EDT

// The class is discussing the differences between Hobbes, Locke, and Rousseau.
Ms. Olivi: Which of you guys prefer Locke?
*two people raise their hands*
Ms. Olivi: Rousseau?
*everyone else raises their hands*
Ms. Olivi: You guys are all commies.

Tags: global olivi
#1367 Up↑ +24/48 Down↓ [Report] 2010-06-06 11:49 EDT

// Jezer is discussing how we should all get a "professional" sounding email.
Jezer: I mean...don't email a prospective employer with PussyKat96@hotmail.com or something.
*Class bursts out laughing*
Jezer: HEY! At least I didn't switch the letters!

Tags: global history jezer
#1291 Up↑ +24/46 Down↓ [Report] 2010-05-15 13:32 EDT

// Jezer calls on a student with a broken leg on crutches
Jezer: You better get this question right or else I'll break your other leg
*class laughs and groans*
Jezer: Why did I say that? It's just so horrible.

Tags: broken global history jezer leg
#44 Up↑ +107/119 Down↓ [Report] 2008-09-24 21:36 EDT

Mr. Badgley: Gluteus maximus? Doesn't that mean big ass?

Tags: badgley global history

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#2009 Up↑ +10/18 Down↓ [Report] 2011-09-25 20:22 EDT

#1778 Up↑ +115/121 Down↓ [Report] 2011-03-11 21:10 EST

#1623 Up↑ +122/132 Down↓ [Report] 2011-01-11 21:41 EST

#1568 Up↑ +123/131 Down↓ [Report] 2010-12-15 22:06 EST

#1566 Up↑ +50/54 Down↓ [Report] 2010-12-15 22:03 EST

#1483 Up↑ +54/66 Down↓ [Report] 2010-10-28 21:15 EDT

#1418 Up↑ +26/30 Down↓ [Report] 2010-09-25 00:33 EDT

#1367 Up↑ +24/48 Down↓ [Report] 2010-06-06 11:49 EDT

#1291 Up↑ +24/46 Down↓ [Report] 2010-05-15 13:32 EDT

#44 Up↑ +107/119 Down↓ [Report] 2008-09-24 21:36 EDT