//At the freshman orientation
Teitel: Is there anything else I should tell the incoming freshmen at the open house?
Student: Learn to understand broken English!
Dr. Ned: Plants need something to survive. It comes from the sky. Danny, do you know what it is?
Danny: Uh...
Dr. Ned: I'll give you a hint: it's wet.
Danny: ...the Sun?
Ms. Reep: So when you become sexually mature your body stops developing.
Student: So does that mean if you masturbate, you don't grow anymore?
*awkward silence*
Ms. Reep: Well if you masturbate...
Ms. Reep: *sigh*
Ms. Reep: ...you just masturbate.
// Mr. Majewski is talking about why eating isn't allowed in his class
Mr. Majewski: And then there's these rodents everywhere! All these rodents around the school! At first, I thought they were just freshmen!
// Calc BC
Ms. Schimmel: You have to understand this stuff, or you'll be driving around lost...
*Freshman wanders into room*
*Freshman wanders out of room*
Ms. Schimmel: Like that poor kid...
// Biology lesson about the nervous system
Dr. Ned: We all have a P-N-S (Peripheral Nervous System).
Brian: Do you have a P-N-S?
Dr. Ned: Of course I have a P-N-S.
Brian: How big is it?
Dr. Ned: I don't know, about the size of most of my body.