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#1904 Up↑ +178/186 Down↓ [Report] 2011-05-09 23:20 EDT

// Phone rings in Mr. Mott's class
Mr. Mott: Hello?
*listens intently for 3 minutes*
Mr. Mott: Who the hell is this?

Tags: american.lit english mott
#1863 Up↑ +143/151 Down↓ [Report] 2011-04-28 23:45 EDT

// Announcements in Great Books
Student: Ubuntu 11.04 is being released, Natty Narwhal. It's going to be awesome. It's the first release to use Unity as the default interface instead of GNOME.
Grossman: ...That had the lowest ratio of words I understand to words I don't understand in anything I've ever heard. In any language.

Tags: comp.sci computers english great.books grossman
#1776 Up↑ +34/40 Down↓ [Report] 2011-03-11 18:46 EST

// A student's laptop makes a noise in class and he quickly turns off the sound
Mr. Weil: Dude, if you're on Youtube you are totally dead.

Tags: english freshman.composition laptop weil
#1720 Up↑ +140/146 Down↓ [Report] 2011-02-14 23:29 EST

Mr. Francis: You're not stupid!
Student: That's the nicest thing you've ever said to us.

Tags: english francis stupid
#1697 Up↑ +84/92 Down↓ [Report] 2011-02-08 23:32 EST

// Mr. Francis' European Literature Class
Student: But I think the question that should have been asked is why are we discussing this when there are people out there dying of cancer?

Tags: english francis
#1649 Up↑ +18/30 Down↓ [Report] 2011-01-23 23:33 EST

// About Julian Assange
Ms. Breslin: Here is a guy that is a criminal in many ways in the U.S.
Ms. Breslin: First, he has a French name...

Tags: breslin english metaphysics wiki.leaks
#1592 Up↑ +153/161 Down↓ [Report] 2011-01-02 22:02 EST

Mr. Francis: Everything from me on that website is misquoted.

Tags: american.studies english francis
#1398 Up↑ +197/209 Down↓ [Report] 2010-07-23 21:48 EDT

// Mr. Rothenberg enters Mr. Mott's classroom
Mr. Rothenberg: Why are there so many black curtains in this room?
Mr. Mott: I didn't want to feel lonely.

Tags: english mott rothenberg
#1328 Up↑ +35/67 Down↓ [Report] 2010-05-21 18:31 EDT

Mr. Gerety: So you know how parents sometimes use pet names for each other? What are some examples?
*silence*
Mr. Gerety: Okay, lets see: Baby, honey... I call my wife dear, but actually her name is Lorraine, so I call her "Lorrainedeer"

Tags: english gerety
#1293 Up↑ +56/66 Down↓ [Report] 2010-05-15 13:41 EDT

// Student has a reputation of saying "that's what she said"
Ms. Oberfield: If you're having trouble with Shakespeare's language, feel free to use a dictionary.
Student: I have a really big dictionary. It's like three inches thick.
Ms. Oberfield: ...are you trying to get me to say "that's what she said"?
Class: Not at all! Gosh, you're sick.
Ms. Oberfield: *blushes* You walked right into it!

Tags: english oberfield
#1172 Up↑ +49/55 Down↓ [Report] 2010-04-29 22:51 EDT

Ms. Brown: How is pleasure measured? I'll give you a hint; it's in the brain.
Student: Well, there are sensors in the brain that secrete serotonin and norepinephrine -
Ms. Brown: Senses! Pleasure is measured by the senses!

Tags: english
#1099 Up↑ +28/34 Down↓ [Report] 2010-03-28 17:03 EDT

// Looking for volunteers to answer the question "Why does Catherine Barkley feel like a whore?"
Mr. Gerety: So "feeling like a whore" anyone?

Tags: english gerety
#987 Up↑ +56/64 Down↓ [Report] 2010-01-24 23:26 EST

Mr. Francis is talking about "love objects" in Pride and Prejudice
Tong: I love how every guy in this class is smiling
*giggling*
Francis: These boys don't know anything about sex
*end bell rings*

Tags: english francis
#934 Up↑ +57/63 Down↓ [Report] 2010-01-07 18:14 EST

Mr. Francis: Sri, what did you say?
Sri: I basically said the same thing (as the last person).
Mr. Francis, loudly: Oh, bullshit!
*Laughs and applause*

Tags: english francis
#914 Up↑ +34/44 Down↓ [Report] 2009-12-23 00:12 EST

// Chronically late student enters classroom to find Ms. Breslin absent for the second consecutive day
Student (raising arms): Ahhhhhhhhhh! Touchdown!
*student slams late pass down on desk in front of sub*
Student (calmly, to sub): Good morning.

Tags: breslin english lateness

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#1904 Up↑ +178/186 Down↓ [Report] 2011-05-09 23:20 EDT

#1863 Up↑ +143/151 Down↓ [Report] 2011-04-28 23:45 EDT

#1776 Up↑ +34/40 Down↓ [Report] 2011-03-11 18:46 EST

#1720 Up↑ +140/146 Down↓ [Report] 2011-02-14 23:29 EST

#1697 Up↑ +84/92 Down↓ [Report] 2011-02-08 23:32 EST

#1649 Up↑ +18/30 Down↓ [Report] 2011-01-23 23:33 EST

#1592 Up↑ +153/161 Down↓ [Report] 2011-01-02 22:02 EST

#1398 Up↑ +197/209 Down↓ [Report] 2010-07-23 21:48 EDT

#1328 Up↑ +35/67 Down↓ [Report] 2010-05-21 18:31 EDT

#1293 Up↑ +56/66 Down↓ [Report] 2010-05-15 13:41 EDT

#1172 Up↑ +49/55 Down↓ [Report] 2010-04-29 22:51 EDT

#1099 Up↑ +28/34 Down↓ [Report] 2010-03-28 17:03 EDT

#987 Up↑ +56/64 Down↓ [Report] 2010-01-24 23:26 EST

#934 Up↑ +57/63 Down↓ [Report] 2010-01-07 18:14 EST

#914 Up↑ +34/44 Down↓ [Report] 2009-12-23 00:12 EST