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#1280 Up↑ /30 Down↓ [Report] 2010-05-13 20:54 EDT
// Ms. Breslin on "standard essay writing"
// A student questions the overuse of ellipses in Walt Whitman's work
Ms. Breslin: How can it be that Walk Whitman does not use MLA style?? DISASTER!
Ms. Breslin: Remember, you can use your own style, but we don't want to sit here like "BROS BEFORE HOES"
Student: What do they mean by "literary merit"?
Ms. Breslin: Well, this means no Harry Potter
*class groans*
Ms. Breslin: *reluctantly* which also means...no Twilight.
*class cheers* -
#1279 Up↑ /22 Down↓ [Report] 2010-05-13 20:46 EDT
// Ms. Breslin has the kind heart to sympathize with the students
*after a discussion about Transcendentalism, Ms. Breslin pauses and looks at the class*
Ms. Breslin: I'm going to stop for now. Because I think you'll fall over dead if I don't.
// The date for the class trip is discussed
Student: But the day after Friday is the SATs!
Ms. Breslin: You don't think it would be good for you to relax before the SATs??
Ms. Breslin: ...Plus! There are lots of words in the museum!
// A student complains that Whitman uses too many pages to express such a simple idea
Ms. Breslin: So he wrote all this stuff, like 100 pages, for nothing.
Ms. Breslin: Instead, he could have written... (in a monotonous voice) "When animals and humans die, the grass gets nutrients from these corpses."
Ms. Breslin: But now, we're just ALL BORED! -
#1276 Up↑ /18 Down↓ [Report] 2010-05-13 20:26 EDT
// After an explanation of Freemasons in class and the supposed "hidden signs"
Ms. Breslin: I personally think the Freemasons are more like a college fraternity
Ms. Breslin: *pause* but everyone is freaked out because of the EYEBALL on the dollar bill. -
#1275 Up↑ /32 Down↓ [Report] 2010-05-13 20:23 EDT
Ms. Breslin: How many people know Helen Keller, Miracle Worker?
*Very few hands are raised*
Ms. Breslin: How many people know the story?
*A few more hands are raised*
Ms. Breslin: *looks around, disappointed* ...How many people are about to make a Helen Keller joke? -
#1185 Up↑ /36 Down↓ [Report] 2010-05-01 21:28 EDT
// The class discusses the play "Copenhagen"
Ms. Breslin: How many people got through the ENTIRE postscript?
*a handful of hands are raised*
Ms. Breslin: How many people read some of it?
*more hands are raised*
Ms. Breslin: How many people completely ignored the postscript
*Student enthusiastically raises his hand*
Student: I read the entire play by accident.
Ms. Breslin: What else do we know about him?
Student: Oh, and he won a Nobel prize.
Ms. Breslin: Oh! LOVE the Nobel peace prize!
Ms. Breslin: ...Yes, it's strange when you incinerate entire cities and lots of people and end up winning the Nobel Peace Prize
Student: *cough* OBAMA -
#1020 Up↑ /28 Down↓ [Report] 2010-02-06 11:39 EST
// Ms. Breslin telling her class about how she gave her turtle away
Ms. Breslin: They had a balcony...and I didn't
Ms. Breslin: So I'm not part of the Turtle and Tortoise Society of New York anymore
Student: Wait. It didn't fall?
*Ms. Breslin looks puzzled*
Student: Well you know, turtle...balcony...
Student: There was only one place that could go. -
#998 Up↑ /42 Down↓ [Report] 2010-01-27 23:11 EST
// Ms. Breslin and Kyle regarding the English Regents
Ms. Breslin: The most important thing to remember about the regents is...?
Kyle: Not to fall asleep!
Ms. Breslin: Kyle...I think you should retroactively fail the regents.
Ms. Breslin: Don't do one thing...
Kyle: OH, I wrote "I know that you are as tired as I am, but please, bear with me"...
Class: That?
Ms. Breslin: Yeah...
Ms. Breslin: Also, don't write "This is Sparta."
Ms. Breslin: Also on time...Someone got really bored and drew one person shooting someone else
Ms. Breslin: Uh yeah. Don't do that...
Ms. Breslin: The first thing you should do is...?
Kyle: TAKE A NAP!
Ms. Breslin: *sigh* Kyle...
Ms. Breslin: The FIRST thing you should do is PUT EVERYTHING KYLE SAID OUT OF YOUR MIND.
Ms. Breslin: The second thing you should do is read the instructions! -
#996 Up↑ /20 Down↓ [Report] 2010-01-27 22:54 EST
// Ms. Breslin tries to get her students to pay attention
Ms. Breslin: Instead of blathering...
Ms. Breslin: Please, pay attention and hide your M&Ms better!
Ms. Breslin: ...although I stayed up all night last night and ate like 2 bags of them myself.
Ms. Breslin: Please, don't write things in peer editing like...
Ms. Breslin: This paper is really simplistic! or...
Ms. Breslin: This paper would be better if you weren't using your cell phone in class! -
#995 Up↑ /52 Down↓ [Report] 2010-01-27 22:47 EST
// Ms. Breslin on Pop culture
Student: If we were meant to fight, we would have been built with guns or something
Ms. Breslin: ...we'd be transformers?
Ms. Breslin: OH!
Ms. Breslin: So you guys are okay with Harry Potter, but not with Twilight?!
Class: YES!!
Ms. Breslin: Well, what's wrong with Twilight??
Student: It's about a hundred year old vampire creeping on a thirteen year old! -
#993 Up↑ /26 Down↓ [Report] 2010-01-27 22:33 EST
// Ms. Breslin's various attempts in getting her class to participate.
Ms. Breslin: Tobi. Your mouth is open, so I think words should be coming out.
Ms. Breslin: Akib. If you were raising your hand, what would you say?
Akib: And...uhh...forget it.
Ms. Breslin: What do you mean forget it?!
Ms. Breslin: REMEMBER IT!
Ms. Breslin: Could you read this as if it weren't fine print at the bottom of a car commercial?