// Class is talking in the beginning of class
Mr. Lostal: None of you are in meditation!
Mr. Lostal: It is ridiculous that a Hispanic has to teach mostly Orientals meditation!
Mr. Lostal: You are losing your roots!

Dr. Niglio: We're going to start the oral portion of the regents soon.
Student: Ooh! I'm good at oral!
*class erupts in laughter*
Student: No wait! I'm BAD at oral! Really bad!

Notes: I miss Niglio.

Ms. Hall: You people are too involved with this bad technology. Instead of reading a book you go on your computers and twit and twat about what you had for breakfast or when you last went to the bathroom!
Ms. Hall: The worst part is that people actually read this stuff!

// Discussing John McCain's performance during one of the presidential debates
Ms. Weissman: He made a lot of jokes that were bad. I felt sorry for him, though. I know how that feels.

// Trying to get help on math homework. Junichi is a Japanese guy.
Viv: I know. SEDUCE JUNICHI!
Female student: Completely?
Viv: Whoa man, you only know him from class. Take it slow.
Viv: But not too slow, because it's due tomorrow.

// The class interrogates Mr. Boericke about his life.
Student: Mr. Boericke, you've done like everything! Have you ever gone skydiving?
Mr. Boericke: *Pauses* No, but I've jumped out of a plane.

Student 1: I heard you did martial arts.
Mr. Boericke: Yeah, I did martial arts for 20 years.
Student 2: ...are you a ninja?

// Dr. Li wants to take a class picture, because he received flowers from the students.  Mr. Orlando is taking the picture in the hallway.
Dr. Li: You move here, you move here...
Dr. Li: Male students!  Kneel in front!  Second line is female students, and third line is...whatever.
*Dr. Li spends five minutes rearranging the students*
Dr. Li: Okay, ready for picture.
Mr. Orlando: 1...2...
Dr. Li: Take three pictures!  The more the better!
Mr. Orlando: Okay, 1...2...
Dr. Li: Take at different angles!
*Warning bell rings*
Dr. Li: Ahh, no!

Notes: Ah, the last day of classes...

Proctor: Wait, what is your name?
Yevgeniy: Yevgeniy.
Student: Wait, Yevgeniy Rudoy?
Yevgeniy: Yeah?
Student: You're the guy Dr. Chen screamed at!
Yevgeniy: How does EVERYONE know that?
Student: It's on Stuybash.

Notes: It's Stuybash.org, not Stuybash. Sarsly.

// Dr. Utting is talking about how kids back in the day would put stink bombs under the teachers' desks.
Student: Whoa, cool.
Dr. Utting: Whoa cool?! You better not whoa cool under my desk, or else I'll whoa cool you out the window!

Mr. Cocoros: This is kind of a strange question, but... does anyone know when my grades are due?

// Explaining an electroscope
Dr. Esper: This rigid part is called a vane, and this needle part...
*dramatic pause*
Dr. Esper: ...is called a needle!

Mr. Majewski: Chris, why are you standing? Go back to initial position!

// A teacher gives us her phone number for a trip.

Teacher: Guys, please take out your imaginary communication devices.
Teacher: Ok, in case anything happens, call me.
Student: Can I text you?

Dr. Fitzgerald: YOU LOOK LIKE HITLER!

Notes: Context? What context?

// Discussing the Senior English project
Student: Do we have to present it?
Ms. Breslin: Well, I don't know. Maybe.
Ms. Breslin: Because there are people who write about their previous drug addiction...or...a current drug addiction...

Ms. Silverio: My oldest daughter once wanted a pet. So I had another child.
Ms. Silverio: Then SHE wanted a pet. So I had another child.
Ms. Silverio: When that third child wanted a pet, I was tired of giving birth already so I told him to go to my oldest daughter and ask her for a pet.
Ms. Silverio: Ah... I love my children.
Ms. Silverio: [mutters] Sometimes.

Mr. Mott: Y'all are so boring!!! You guys need to wake up or something. Y'all need...*goes up to T.A. and whispers something*
T.A.: Ok guys, nobody told me to say this, but it has come to my attention that you all need to do some weed.
Mr. Mott: He said it. Not me.

*Girl walks in halfway through class to get something*
Girl: I'm sorry, that's my scarf.
Polazzo: I'm sorry it's your scarf too, but it's not that bad looking. Hey, next time you should just leave it there, I could use a new scarf.
Girl: ...
Girl: Goodbye.
Polazzo: She won't be forgetting that scarf again.

*Mr. McClellan is handing out a pre-lab pop quiz*
Student: *mutters swear word*
Mr. McClellan: Swearing already? That's five points off your quiz.
Student: Out of how many points?
Mr. McClellan: Ten.
*Student laughs*
Mr. McClellan: I love that she thinks I'm kidding.

// Dr. Pathak, in an email to students about online homework assignments
Many of you are not answering the short answer question correctly.  You should write about what a reflex arc does.  You should know to do this because if you read the question, you'll see that it asks, "What does a reflex arc do?"

// After student announcer reads the Pledge of Allegiance
Mr. Garfinkel: He adds much suspense to the proceedings. Will he remember the words?

Notes: See #103: http://stuybash.org/103

Mr. Econome: I was on a date and trying to impress a girl...I took her to a garden to look at flowers...
Arik: Nothing blossomed from there
Mr. Econome: sigh
*class dies laughing*

// Mr. Badgley using the projector next to a student
Mr. Badgley: Am I in your way?
Student: Uh. Not really.
*pause*
Student: ...am I in your way?
Mr. Badgley: *nods enthusiastically* Yeah!

Student 1: I wonder why the Hudson River is always frozen on the New York side.
Student 2: Because New Yorkers are cold people.

Dr. Majewski: Like the tiger example.
*class looks confused*
Dr. Majewski: Tiger is attracted to so many women. And people don't like that. So it is negative, like in physics?
*class is more confused*

Ms. Thoms: "It's" is a contraction, "its" isn't a contraction.
Ms. Thoms: It's like you have "it is" and you kill the "i" in "is".
Ms. Thoms: *takes chalk, violently colors out the i* DIE, DIE, DIE!
Ms. Thoms: See and now you turn the little dot over the "i" into an apostrophe and you have "it's".

// Before every test
Mr. Dreyfus: There will be some VERY HIGH GRADES on this test.
Mr. Dreyfus: I repeat: there will be SOME very high grades on this test.

// Before winter break
Mr. Kennedy: ...and then New Jersey rejoiced at the death of Santa.

// To Floyd
Max: Don't get me wrong, Floyd. It's not that I don't have any black friends; it's just that my dad sold them all.

Mr. Sandler: What's that expression? You hit it on the nailhead?
Mr. Sandler: I'm not very good at construction.