Mr. Pathak: The textbook company gives you a discount if you're a first time buyer, so I used a fake name.

// Before a demonstration
Ms. Pluchino: One of the main main reasons I became a Chemistry teacher was because I would be licensed to light things on fire.

Mr. Lam: Do you want to hear the story of how I got you wonderful student?
Student: Oh yeah, you waited 24 years for us?
Mr. Lam: That too, but, last year before Christmas one of my student come up to me and ask what I want for Christmas.
Mr. Lam: I tell him I want wonderful student for next year!
Mr. Lam: *looks around* And that's how I got all of you wonderful people!

// Mr. Lack is subbing for Writer's Workshop.
Lack: Did you guys know I went to college for writing?
Student: I thought you went to college for film?
Lack: Yeah, film writing.