Random Quotes
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#122 Up↑ /71 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-10 19:57 EDT
Mr. Colon: My father always told me never run away from a fight. If the guy's bigger than you, you hit him. If he gets back up, hit him again. If he gets back up again, hit him with a garbage can. If he still gets back up, run like hell, cause this dude's gonna kill you!
// later
Mr. Colon: Okay. Emergency procedures. If the fire bell rings, we run like hell.
// later
Mr. Colon: Don't curse at people. I used to say, "go suck on a banana." Then they can't get you in trouble. -
#426 Up↑ /139 Down↓ [Report] 2009-03-05 16:41 EST
// Mr. Dibbs is doing equilibrium demonstration involving solutions of varying color
Mr. Dibbs: This red test tube, when placed in hot water will become more red, but when placed in cold water will become purple.
Student: That isn't red, that's brown.
Mr. Dibbs: Red, brown, same thing. You kids and your different colors. Back in my day, you'd get crayon boxes with just the three primary colors. Now you've got those boxes of 150,000 crayon colors - Upstate New York Green! Electric Ruby! Montana Sunset, 5 PM!
Mr. Dibbs: And why do they need so many blues? You've got navy blue, sky blue, cerulean blue, periwinkle blue, azure, midnight blue... and what the hell is up with baby blue? Am I the only one who thinks of a still-born when I hear baby blue?
Mr. Dibbs: Speaking of which, why are all the colors so cheerful? What about cadaver green? Funerial purple? Rigor mortis red?
// After experiment
Mr. Dibbs: Okay, class, so what color is the test tube?
Class: Purple.
Mr. Dibbs: No, it's midnight fuschia. -
#951 Up↑ /93 Down↓ [Report] 2010-01-11 21:18 EST
Mr. Dibbs: One time, my daughter asked me why we use salt to melt ice.
Mr. Dibbs: I gave her the whole explanation I just gave you guys and told her ANYTHING could be used to melt the ice, even alcohol!
Mr. Dibbs: So the next day I come home and she's pouring my scotch on the ice outside.
Mr. Dibbs: Yeah, I put her in the orphanage after that.
