Quote Browser
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#2173 Up↑ /0 Down↓ [Report] 2012-02-07 14:16 EST
Mr. Lam: Do you want to hear the story of how I got you wonderful student?
Student: Oh yeah, you waited 24 years for us?
Mr. Lam: That too, but, last year before Christmas one of my student come up to me and ask what I want for Christmas.
Mr. Lam: I tell him I want wonderful student for next year!
Mr. Lam: *looks around* And that's how I got all of you wonderful people! -
#2160 Up↑ /21 Down↓ [Report] 2012-02-01 21:31 EST
Dr. Pathak: You guys, uh, probably think labs are all fun and stuff. Just pouring stuff into different test tubes and getting smoke. But really, it's month after month of failure before getting a success. And you guys are only having lab every Monday.
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#2158 Up↑ /16 Down↓ [Report] 2012-02-01 20:21 EST
Mr. Lam: I know student who, when he did multiplication, remembered 6 time 5 as 6 added 5 time.
Mr. Lam: He say "I know everything now! I will do well on test!"
Mr. Lam: When he get test, it ask question like "what is 9 * 353?", and he say "I cannot add 9 353 times, is too much work!" And he fail the test!
Student: Mr. Lam, is this a true story?
Mr. Lam: No. -
#2157 Up↑ /16 Down↓ [Report] 2012-02-01 20:16 EST
// Mr. Rothenberg is reviewing at the end of class. He has asked the class to bring a graph paper notebook and masking tape.
Mr. Rothenberg: And where can you get these things?
Student: Staples?
Mr. Rothenberg: No, I'm asking about a notebook and masking tape. Where can you get them?
Student: Staples!
Mr. Rothenberg: No, not staples! I want a notebook and masking tape! Where can you get them?
Student: Staples!!!
Mr. Rothenberg: That's correct. Good job. -
#2155 Up↑ /10 Down↓ [Report] 2012-02-01 18:26 EST
// After paying attention to one side of the classroom and being dismissive towards the other side as a prank
Mr. Greez: I'm not sure if any of you noticed, but there is something deeply disturbing occurring in our classroom. Well, maybe not DEEPLY disturbing, but disturbing.
Student: ... Do you have a gun?
Mr. Greez: Now that would be deeply, deeply, DEEPLY disturbing. -
#2153 Up↑ /14 Down↓ [Report] 2012-01-31 19:38 EST
Student: Mrs. Ambia, do you have any pets?
Ambia: Yes, I have a pet chicken!
// three semesters later, the same student is in her class again
Student: So, Mrs. Ambia, how is Jon doing?
Ambia: It was terrible watching my husband carry its coop all over the place, so I did what my grandmother did.
Ambia: I ate her! -
#2152 Up↑ /10 Down↓ [Report] 2012-01-31 19:32 EST
// Students discuss My Little Pony instead of doing a worksheet as Mrs. Gorla walks by.
Gorla: What are you guys doing?
Student: Oh I'm calling him a brony.
Gorla: ...wow...
Student: What?
Gorla: That's only something I hear from my pegasisters cousins from down south. -
#2147 Up↑ /13 Down↓ [Report] 2012-01-30 20:31 EST
Student: Mr. Kavanagh, how did you even become a math teacher?
Kavanagh: Well, it all started in college, where I was a Physics major...
*Kavanagh open the door, walks out of it*
*Class looks around confused*
*He opens the back door, walks back to the front of the class*
Kavanagh: ...and that's how I became a teacher. -
#2146 Up↑ /11 Down↓ [Report] 2012-01-30 20:28 EST
// Mr. Stern opens a new box of chalk and starts writing with it.
Stern: So the United States Constitution...
*chalk breaks, falls to the floor*
Stern: Was drafted by a committee...
*chalk breaks again*
Stern: of the leading minds in America...
*chalk breaks again*
Stern: Well, thank god I have a whole box of these.
