Stuybash.org: Top Quotes Quotes database http://stuybash.org/ 2012-02-09T03:30:00Z Xo Wang xo@geekshavefeelings.com Chirpy! Quote 2073 http://stuybash.org/2073 2011-11-17T21:09:45Z 2011-11-17T21:09:45Z +82

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// Phone begins to ring during class. After 30 seconds of confusion, Dr. Chen picks up the phone.
Dr. Chen: Hello? Yes...THIS IS CLASSROOM
// Dr. Chen hangs up
Student: Who was that?
Dr. Chen: I DON'T KNOW.

 Quote 1560 http://stuybash.org/1560 2010-12-15T01:29:08Z 2010-12-15T01:29:08Z +551

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Ms. Hall: I get very annoyed when I'm ignored. Don't I, Ms. Shamazov?
Ms. Shamazov: *looks up* ...what?

 Quote 1492 http://stuybash.org/1492 2010-11-02T02:39:07Z 2010-11-02T02:39:07Z +392

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Mr. Mott: Y'all are so boring!!! You guys need to wake up or something. Y'all need...*goes up to T.A. and whispers something*
T.A.: Ok guys, nobody told me to say this, but it has come to my attention that you all need to do some weed.
Mr. Mott: He said it. Not me.

 Quote 1447 http://stuybash.org/1447 2010-10-19T03:29:16Z 2010-10-19T03:29:16Z +285

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// Somebody puts fake delaney card in Dr. Li's book during Saturday prep school
Dr. Li: Mickey Mouse? No Mickey Mouse? You live at ABC Sesame Street in Disney--
*suddenly realizes what he's reading*

 Quote 2002 http://stuybash.org/2002 2011-09-22T23:13:24Z 2011-09-22T23:13:24Z +139

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Lostal: We have to finish here, I want to end class by the time the end bell rings, for once.
Student: The end bell already rang.
Lostal: I didn't ask for your opinion.

 Quote 1599 http://stuybash.org/1599 2011-01-08T01:01:17Z 2011-01-08T01:01:17Z +278

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// Mr. Francis calls on a student to read what he wrote about what he thinks Mrs. Bennet would say:
Steven: Should I read it in a girl voice?
Mr. Francis: No.
Steven: *reads what he wrote in normal voice* "I believe that..."
Mr. Francis: I said no!

 Quote 2057 http://stuybash.org/2057 2011-10-27T03:29:39Z 2011-10-27T03:29:39Z +69

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Mr. Sandler: Did I ever tell you guys how my wife and I came up with our son's name? His name's Bernie, after my great grandpa Bernie. The rest of it is Oscar Salino Sandler. So his initials are B.O.S.S. cause he's the boss!

 Quote 1205 http://stuybash.org/1205 2010-05-02T21:01:49Z 2010-05-02T21:01:49Z +207

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// Students have found out Dr. Chen can speak German
Student 1: Dr. Chen, can you speak German for us?
Dr. Chen: WHY? THIS IS MATHEMATICS CLASS!
Student 2: Why do you know German?
Dr. Chen: I STAY THERE SO MANY YEARS!
Student 3: You stayed in Germany? That's so cool!
Dr. Chen: WHY IS COOL?! WHAT SO COOL GERMANY?!
Student 4: What were you doing in Germany?
Dr. Chen: I DO RESEARCH!
Student 4: What kind of research?
Dr. Chen: I CANNOT TALK. IS LONG STORY.

 Quote 1171 http://stuybash.org/1171 2010-04-29T01:59:25Z 2010-04-29T01:59:25Z +138

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*After discussing how only female mosquitoes, bees, spiders, etc. bite*
Citron: Guys, as you can see, there is a recurring motif here: Females are dangerous and love hurts.

 Quote 1348 http://stuybash.org/1348 2010-05-28T18:51:25Z 2010-05-28T18:51:25Z +240

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Student: How's the class Neurobiology?
Pathak: Well, I mean, it's pretty intense. Uh, why?
Student: I want to take it next year.
Pathak: Really? Well... I kinda want smart people to take it.

 Quote 1270 http://stuybash.org/1270 2010-05-13T03:51:07Z 2010-05-13T03:51:07Z +171

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// Mr. Mott often walks in during Realmuto's class
*Mr. Mott walks in holding a baby*
Class: Awwww!
*Mr. Mott leaves and reappears a few minutes later with a young girl*
Student 1: ...where does he keep getting all these kids?!
Student 2: ...I want to know what happened to the baby.

 Quote 2033 http://stuybash.org/2033 2011-10-12T11:13:43Z 2011-10-12T11:13:43Z +34

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Mr. Dibbs: These are safety matches. They're so safe they don't light.
*slams match against chalkboard*

 Quote 1904 http://stuybash.org/1904 2011-05-10T03:20:24Z 2011-05-10T03:20:24Z +203

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// Phone rings in Mr. Mott's class
Mr. Mott: Hello?
*listens intently for 3 minutes*
Mr. Mott: Who the hell is this?

 Quote 1567 http://stuybash.org/1567 2010-12-16T03:05:37Z 2010-12-16T03:05:37Z +202

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Ms. Hall: You, baritone, back there! What have you been looking at this entire period?
Ms. Hall: Come up here and show me right now!
*Baritone walks up and hands Ms. Hall his report card which he's been looking at*
Ms. Hall: We got these two hours ago! Put it away!
*Pause*
Ms. Hall: And work harder on your chemistry labs.

 Quote 1318 http://stuybash.org/1318 2010-05-20T00:49:51Z 2010-05-20T00:49:51Z +268

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// Class is silently reading
Mr. Mott (on telephone): Excuse me?
*class looks up*
Mr. Mott (on telephone): You can't put me on hold. Do you know who I am?

 Quote 1289 http://stuybash.org/1289 2010-05-15T17:22:07Z 2010-05-15T17:22:07Z +233

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Student: So...if we finish the lab, we'll actually find the amino acid sequence for Botana Curus, thus finding the cure for cancer?
Pathak: If you were actually, like, listening to what I've been saying for the last 45 minutes, you would, uh, know that this lab is fake by now.

 Quote 1233 http://stuybash.org/1233 2010-05-11T15:20:01Z 2010-05-11T15:20:01Z +299

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Mr. Majewski: Oh, Rosa should read! She has such a good voice! She does opera with Ms. Hell. 
Mr. Majewski: Ms. Hall, sorry, I mean Ms. Hall. So easy to make mistake like this.

 Quote 1911 http://stuybash.org/1911 2011-05-12T22:26:52Z 2011-05-12T22:26:52Z +165

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Mr. Dibbs: When I went to school, I read about Greeks myths where the gods would go around getting mortal women pregnant.
Mr: Dibbs: They would disguise themselves as eagles.
Mr. Dibbs: I tried that once, but it didn't work.

 Quote 1588 http://stuybash.org/1588 2010-12-23T02:46:50Z 2010-12-23T02:46:50Z +99

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*Dr. Pathak stops lecture and looks up at the class*
Dr. Pathak: Wow.
Student: What's wrong?
Dr. Pathak: You guys, uh, look like an actual class today.

 Quote 1197 http://stuybash.org/1197 2010-05-02T03:02:25Z 2010-05-02T03:02:25Z +198

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// Ms. Shuman is taking attendance
Ms. Shuman: Tina. Tina?
*Ms. Shuman looks around and sighs*
Ms. Shuman: You know, I saw her like 10 minutes ago in McDonald's.
Ms. Shuman: I was a much better cutter than you guys when I was in high school.

 Quote 703 http://stuybash.org/703 2009-09-26T03:34:36Z 2009-09-26T03:34:36Z +361

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Mr. Mott: Max, I saw you in the street the other day. Why did you not say hi to me?
Max: I'm sorry Mr. Mott, I didn't see you.
Mr. Mott: What?! As big and as black as I am you did not see me! Now I understand if it was the middle of the night, but in broad daylight?

 Quote 1351 http://stuybash.org/1351 2010-05-29T03:05:53Z 2010-05-29T03:05:53Z +459

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// Dr. Pathak sends an email to students regarding contacting him via email.
Hello,
When you send an email, you have to sign your name at the end.  Providing your name lets me know who you are.  That's one of the key advantages of having a name.  It's pretty easy to do.  Watch how I do it at the end of this email.
Dr. Pathak

 Quote 1508 http://stuybash.org/1508 2010-11-13T15:19:28Z 2010-11-13T15:19:28Z +131

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// In Multivariate Calculus
Student: Dr. Chen, there's a bug on the floor
*Dr. Chen walks over*
Dr. Chen: KEEELLLLLLLL IT

 Quote 2030 http://stuybash.org/2030 2011-10-10T16:07:20Z 2011-10-10T16:07:20Z +98

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// Dr. Pathak is discussing apple products
Pathak: So, a while ago apple was going to make a kids version of the iPod touch. They were thinking about calling it the iTouch kids. It didn't work out so well.

 Quote 1132 http://stuybash.org/1132 2010-04-13T01:49:18Z 2010-04-13T01:49:18Z +97

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Mr. Citron: I'm a macho sort of guy, you know, the one everyone's afraid of, but when it comes to dogs, something happens...
Mr. Citron: If I'm late to school, it's because I found a really cute dog I had to pet.

 Quote 1525 http://stuybash.org/1525 2010-11-29T21:16:58Z 2010-11-29T21:16:58Z +129

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Mr. Badgley: And then we were playing drinking games with these monks.
Mr. Badgley: I asked one why that wasn't breaking his religion. He said to me, there are many paths to enlightenment, and tonight, it's beer.

 Quote 1285 http://stuybash.org/1285 2010-05-14T01:22:26Z 2010-05-14T01:22:26Z +290

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*Mr. Mott Walks up to random student*
Mr. Mott: I like your scarf.
Student: Thank you.
Mr. Mott: I really like it. Give it to me.
Student: What?

 Quote 1261 http://stuybash.org/1261 2010-05-13T00:57:01Z 2010-05-13T00:57:01Z +290

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// In Mr. Kavanagh’s Class
Student 1: Why is it even called geometry?
Mr. Kavanagh: Because an acorn grew up and said geometry.
Student 2: I think he’s finally lost it.
Student 1: I still don’t get it.
Mr. Kavanagh: You know Gee-I’m-A-Tree? Get it? Forget it, you’re all idiots.

 Quote 1386 http://stuybash.org/1386 2010-06-15T16:44:39Z 2010-06-15T16:44:39Z +193

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// Mr. Mott walks into Mr. Donin's class, and Mr. Donin acts suprised
Mr. Mott: Just because I'm a black man doesn't mean you have to jump like that!

 Quote 1929 http://stuybash.org/1929 2011-05-23T21:13:07Z 2011-05-23T21:13:07Z +128

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// Absence note
Sr. Simón: Reason for absence, "I was sick." And there's no parents' signature.
Sr. Simón: You forgot to forge it.