// Student answers a question
Mr. Akhmedov: No, that's wrong
Student: What? That's what you told us yesterday
Mr. Akhmedov: Well, you shouldn't believe everything people tell you.
Student: But you're our TEACHER. You're not supposed to lie. You're supposed to tell the truth!
Mr. Akhmedov: That wasn't a part of the job description.
// Dr. Pathak, in an email to students regarding contacting him via email
Hello,
When you send an email, you have to sign your name at the end. Providing your name lets me know who you are. That's one of the key advantages of having a name. It's pretty easy to do. Watch how I do it at the end of this email.
Dr. Pathak
[Up] (+120/128) [Down] [Report]
Student: Mr. Majewski, what happens if you fail the Regents?
Mr. Majewski: No one ever failed the Regents! Except this one kid who was all over the news! Reporters from ABC interviewed him and asked him "Daniel, why did you fail the Regents?" and Daniel said "Not to worry, I will become an astronaut and land on the sun!" and the reporters said "How are you going to land on the sun? The sun is very hot," and Daniel once again said "Not to worry, I will land at night!"
// In Mr. Kavanagh’s Class
Student 1: Why is it even called geometry?
Mr. Kavanagh: Because an acorn grew up and said geometry.
Student 2: I think he’s finally lost it.
Student 1: I still don’t get it.
Mr. Kavanagh: You know Gee-I’m-A-Tree? Get it? Forget it, you’re all idiots.
// Students have found out Dr. Chen can speak German
Student 1: Dr. Chen, can you speak German for us?
Dr. Chen: WHY? THIS IS MATHEMATICS CLASS!
Student 2: Why do you know German?
Dr. Chen: I STAY THERE SO MANY YEARS!
Student 3: You stayed in Germany? That's so cool!
Dr. Chen: WHY IS COOL?! WHAT SO COOL GERMANY?!
Student 4: What were you doing in Germany?
Dr. Chen: I DO RESEARCH!
Student 4: What kind of research?
Dr. Chen: I CANNOT TALK. IS LONG STORY.