Stuybash.org: Top Quotes

Quote 2185

2012-03-09T00:12:15Z

Ms. George: So the male has two testes.. Girl: Really? I didn't know that Ms. George: See? That's why you're learning this. So you won't be surprised.

Quote 2258

2012-05-05T01:21:30Z

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// talking about the idea of Carpe Diem Mr. Gern: This, therefore, is the origin of YOLO.

Quote 1929

2011-05-23T21:13:07Z

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// Absence note Sr. Simón: Reason for absence, "I was sick." And there's no parents' signature. Sr. Simón: You forgot to forge it.

Quote 1423

2010-10-01T04:49:10Z

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// Mr. Badgley is explaining the curriculum to the class. Mr. Badgley: We'll do things like... consumption, international mafias, cartels, military actions, WMDs and drugs. Mr. Badgley: ...Well, we won't *do* them. Mr. Badgley: ...*I* won't do them

Quote 2221

2012-03-28T21:53:57Z

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Student: Mr. Park, how long did this proof take you? Mr. Park: Oh, about 20 minutes. Student: That means it should take me about 15! Mr. Park: To what? Give up?

Quote 2133

2012-01-20T11:26:29Z

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Mr. Thomas: When I look at a person, all I see is a collection of leptons and quarks. Student: That's really sad.

Quote 1911

2011-05-12T22:26:52Z

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Mr. Dibbs: When I went to school, I read about Greeks myths where the gods would go around getting mortal women pregnant. Mr: Dibbs: They would disguise themselves as eagles. Mr. Dibbs: I tried that once, but it didn't work.

Quote 2002

2011-09-22T23:13:24Z

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Lostal: We have to finish here, I want to end class by the time the end bell rings, for once. Student: The end bell already rang. Lostal: I didn't ask for your opinion.

Quote 1197

2010-05-02T03:02:25Z

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// Ms. Shuman is taking attendance Ms. Shuman: Tina. Tina? *Ms. Shuman looks around and sighs* Ms. Shuman: You know, I saw her like 10 minutes ago in McDonald's. Ms. Shuman: I was a much better cutter than you guys when I was in high school.

Quote 1511

2010-11-16T03:27:34Z

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// Mr. Geller is outside, screaming Mr. Geller: ALL RIGHT! THAT'S IT! GIVE ME YOUR IDs! .... I WANT EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR IDs! *Dr. Chen stares outside to see what's going on.* *Dr. Chen comes back in.* Dr. Chen: I cannot scream like that.

Quote 1318

2010-05-20T00:49:51Z

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// Class is silently reading Mr. Mott (on telephone): Excuse me? *class looks up* Mr. Mott (on telephone): You can't put me on hold. Do you know who I am?

Quote 1934

2011-05-28T22:43:26Z

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// Ms. Manwell is explaining how scientists can name their bacteria colonies. Ms. Manwell: The naming has gotten pretty out of hand recently. Ms. Manwell: There was a story about how a scientist named a bacteria "Sonic the Hedgehog." Ms. Manwell: Imagine a doctor telling a mother that her child was killed by Sonic the Hedgehog.

Quote 1560

2010-12-15T01:29:08Z

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Ms. Hall: I get very annoyed when I'm ignored. Don't I, Ms. Shamazov? Ms. Shamazov: *looks up* ...what?

Quote 899

2009-12-16T18:46:30Z

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Mr. Kennedy: Somebody forgot to write the aim on the board! *Pause* Mr. Kennedy: I think that someone forgot to bring his lesson plan to class as well.

Quote 1784

2011-03-13T04:56:41Z

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// Mrs. Shamazov shows us a picture of a Contrabassoon Mrs. Shamazov: IMAGINE BLOWING INTO SOMETHING 16FT LONG! IT MUST BE SO SATISFYING! SO EXHILARATING!

Quote 1492

2010-11-02T02:39:07Z

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Mr. Mott: Y'all are so boring!!! You guys need to wake up or something. Y'all need...*goes up to T.A. and whispers something* T.A.: Ok guys, nobody told me to say this, but it has come to my attention that you all need to do some weed. Mr. Mott: He said it. Not me.

Quote 1459

2010-10-25T05:42:53Z

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*students draws a bell curve on the board* Dr. Fitzgerald: "Very neatly done, boy! Those are almost as good as Ms. Ferrara's curves!" Class: "WHAT?!" Dr. Fitzgerald: "What? Ms. Ferrara draws very nice circles and curves."

Quote 1686

2011-02-08T01:01:51Z

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Ms Hall: I can't tell you kids anything anymore! Chamber: WHY?! Ms Hall: BECAUSE EVERYTHING I SAY GOES ONTO THE INTERNET!

Quote 1639

2011-01-21T00:05:50Z

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Mr. Cocoros: This is kind of a strange question, but... does anyone know when my grades are due?

Quote 1567

2010-12-16T03:05:37Z

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Ms. Hall: You, baritone, back there! What have you been looking at this entire period? Ms. Hall: Come up here and show me right now! *Baritone walks up and hands Ms. Hall his report card which he's been looking at* Ms. Hall: We got these two hours ago! Put it away! *Pause* Ms. Hall: And work harder on your chemistry labs.

Quote 1849

2011-04-11T15:31:59Z

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Mr. Boericke: I have no idea how to spell adolescence so I’m going to make a squiggly line there.

Quote 1386

2010-06-15T16:44:39Z

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// Mr. Mott walks into Mr. Donin's class, and Mr. Donin acts suprised Mr. Mott: Just because I'm a black man doesn't mean you have to jump like that!

Quote 1285

2010-05-14T01:22:26Z

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*Mr. Mott Walks up to random student* Mr. Mott: I like your scarf. Student: Thank you. Mr. Mott: I really like it. Give it to me. Student: What?

Quote 2214

2012-03-20T22:37:21Z

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Ben: Mr. Polazzo! We heard you loved balloons so we brought you many of them! I spent all of last period blowing them up. *Class proceeds to play volleyball with balloons for ten minutes* Mr. Polazzo: This is worse than the time you guys applauded me for twelve straight minutes.

Quote 936

2010-01-08T01:08:09Z

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// Learning about compound interest. *Dr. Chen writes 'principal' on board Damian: Dr. Chen, you spelled 'principal' wrong. Brendan: Yeah Dr. Chen, it's with an -le not -al Dr. Chen: WHO TEACH YOU ENGLISH LANGUAGE? Dr. Chen: YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH ENGLISH LANGUAGE?!?

Notes: It's actually "principal" with -al, so Dr. Chen was right.

Quote 1781

2011-03-12T16:37:30Z

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// Dr. Pathak holds a plastic coffee cup Dr. Pathak: Did you guys like uh know that these coffee cups have like a lid? I discovered this like a year ago and I thought it was kind of uhh like uncomfortable that you had to like hold the lid up. But one day I noticed there was like an indent the same exact shape as the lid and I pressed and it like uhh, just stayed there. Is this like... common knowledge? Class: YES, DR. PATHAK. Dr. Pathak: Oh, because for a moment, I thought I had like invented it. But I guess not.

Quote 970

2010-01-20T03:02:09Z

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// Mr. Kennedy bumps into a student Mr. Kennedy: Oh, I'm so sorry. Are you okay? Student: No. *pause* Mr. Kennedy: I smell a lawsuit.

Quote 1617

2011-01-12T00:53:31Z

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Mr. Dibbs: Lead isn't retarded. None of these metals will make you retarded. You can eat this ruler, and you won't be retarded. You're already retarded for eating it.

Quote 2010

2011-09-26T00:23:13Z

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Dr. Pathak: For $35 you'll get a textbook, goggles, and (*holds up plastic apron*) this... high quality apron...

Quote 699

2009-09-25T00:49:29Z

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*Student walks to window, opens it, and sits down next to it* Mr. Majewski: What are you doing? Go back to your seat! Student: But Mr. Majewski, can I just take my test here? It's hot! Mr. Majewski: No, no, I know your tricks. You have someone on the street and he's flashing you signals to cheat on the test!