Stuybash.org: Random Quotes

Quote 186

2008-11-01T20:05:24Z

// Fire alarm goes off Mr. Teitel (over PA): Please ignore the bells. // A few minutes later Ms. Damesek (over PA): Will Mr. Tillman please come down to room 103. Mr. Boericke: Mr Tillman really shouldn't be out pulling fire alarms. He's a grown man, after all.

Quote 296

2008-12-20T22:36:02Z

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Sr. Simon: Why won't you get flowers for your girl, Kenneth? Kenneth: Uh... Sr. Simon: Too expensive? You can just steal 'em from the cemetery like I used to!

Quote 1872

2011-05-02T23:22:06Z

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Mr. Akhmedov: So there ARE wires in the sea. Student: What about the fishes? Mr. Akhmedov: Oh, don't worry, the wires are insulated from the sea water and stuff. Student #2 (after a while): WHAT ABOUT WHALES??? Mr. Akhmedov: Whales aren't stupid.

Quote 189

2008-11-04T03:18:14Z

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Mr. Kavanagh: That's a metaphor, and I never met a phor I didn't like.

Quote 561

2009-05-16T22:32:08Z

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// Talking about different countries and flags in Spanish class Sr. Garcia: ¿Como es la bandera Italiano? Scott: Es roja..., blanca..., y... verduras! // TRANSLATION Mr. Garcia: What is the Italian flag like? Scott: It's red..., white..., and... vegetables! // He was looking for "verde"

Quote 2160

2012-02-02T02:31:51Z

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Dr. Pathak: You guys, uh, probably think labs are all fun and stuff. Just pouring stuff into different test tubes and getting smoke. But really, it's month after month of failure before getting a success. And you guys are only having lab every Monday.

Quote 942

2010-01-08T23:06:36Z

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// Two white students have a conversation. Student 1: That's the pot calling the kettle black. Student 2: Well you're a kettle. Student 1: You're a pot. Student 2: I'd rather be a kettle than a pot. Student 1: Well, you're black.

Quote 1308

2010-05-16T20:43:34Z

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// Mrs. Arora turns on the faucet and brown water comes out. Arora: You know class, I used to be white like you guys... then I drank this water and turned brown.

Quote 997

2010-01-28T03:57:16Z

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// Mr. Avallone gives a small speech on quanta and particle physics, which he is not exactly clear on Mr. Avallone: Waves can "cancel out" so maybe that explains why something "doesn't exist" between two quanta Mr. Avallone: But...I'm not going to write anything on the board because it might be wrong.

Quote 2046

2011-10-19T03:26:40Z

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Ms. Plafker: Don't ever quote me on that website. Ms. Plafker: I can't use the same jokes again if you do that.

Quote 816

2009-11-14T00:34:24Z

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// Before a test Mr. Boericke: Everybody have a Scantron? If you don't have a Scantron, you're at a distinct disadvantage.

Quote 1203

2010-05-02T17:07:04Z

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// Ms. Dunkel showing a portrait of Napoleon Ms. Dunkel: *Blushes and gestures towards Napoleon's crotch* Does everyone see the very exaggerated body part in the painting? Student: I thought he was called the Little General. Ms. Dunkel: Oh. Well, some people say he was called that because of his height. But I think its for another reason.

Quote 929

2010-01-02T20:06:14Z

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Dr. Chen: Now who can answer this question. Only one student raises his hand and does the problem correctly Dr. Chen: Correct! Student: Dr. Chen are you proud of me? Dr. Chen: Heck no!

Quote 1289

2010-05-15T17:22:07Z

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Student: So...if we finish the lab, we'll actually find the amino acid sequence for Botana Curus, thus finding the cure for cancer? Pathak: If you were actually, like, listening to what I've been saying for the last 45 minutes, you would, uh, know that this lab is fake by now.

Quote 1064

2010-03-11T02:25:29Z

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Student: So Mr. Esper, if you were born on Mars-- Mr. Esper: I was not born, I was *hatched*.

Quote 357

2009-01-29T21:53:18Z

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Dr. Majewski: Wes, why you leave questions blank on lab? Wes: I couldn't figure them out. Dr. Majewski: You put me in very bad position. If I pass you, I go to jail, if I fail you, you will kill me. Wes: That's right. If you fail me, I will murder you. Give me a sixty-five. Dr. Majewski: Okay, sixty-five.

Quote 280

2008-12-17T02:00:01Z

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// A nice holiday gift assignment Dr. Runcie: I will give you excretion over the holidays.

Quote 1113

2010-04-08T19:42:56Z

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// Teacher is talking about types of relationships in ecosystem. Teacher: (wants us to say "competitive") In regards to grades, Stuyvesant students are... Student: Predatory?

Quote 1579

2010-12-19T21:25:41Z

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// The class interrogates Mr. Boericke about his life. Student: Mr. Boericke, you've done like everything! Have you ever gone skydiving? Mr. Boericke: *Pauses* No, but I've jumped out of a plane. Student 1: I heard you did martial arts. Mr. Boericke: Yeah, I did martial arts for 20 years. Student 2: ...are you a ninja?

Quote 1891

2011-05-07T00:12:25Z

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// Mr Akhmedov goes over to student to help with problem worksheet Akhmedov: How are you doing? Akhmedov: Are you doing? Akhmedov: You are not doing.

Quote 1339

2010-05-26T00:12:53Z

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// student walks into class late Mr. Lostal: EXCUUSE ME. Why you walking into class late? Student: Oh, I was coming from the 9th floor Mr. Lostal : Huh huh well next time take a parachute and fly down. This is about complete surrendering to the master math Class: ...

Quote 435

2009-03-10T23:13:29Z

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// Physics test You have two options, (A) answer the free response question, or (B) not answer the free response question. Please note that option (A) is worth more points.

Quote 1864

2011-04-29T16:17:58Z

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Dr. Chen: Put newspaper away! You will fail! Student: Aww, really? Dr. Chen: Yes! If you take out newspaper, you will fail, am definitely sure! Dr. Chen: I will give final! Student: Just for me? Dr. Chen: Yeah, just you. Student: Will you give me a review? Dr. Chen: Yes! I will give final, then will see! Student: I'll get a 95! Dr. Chen: *laughs* OK.

Quote 1683

2011-02-07T05:37:07Z

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// Explaining neighbors in NetLogo Mr. Dyrland-Weaver: So then you ask the turtle to make its black neighbors white... Mr. Dyrland-Weaver: ... Oh.

Quote 1190

2010-05-02T01:56:06Z

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// The class discusses terminology of a male being able to fertilize the egg of a woman Dr. Pilloff: Is it fertile? Student 1: What's the opposite of impotent? Dr. Pilloff: Potent? He's potent? Student 2: He's loaded.

Quote 32

2008-09-23T21:49:30Z

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Mr. Majewski: Some smart kid once brought in his iPod and used his electronics kit to make music. Now, iPods are illegal, but Ms. Damesek came in once and didn't confiscate it. Apparently, when you take legal and you hook it up to illegal, you get legal.

Quote 592

2009-05-26T20:28:26Z

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// Mr. Boericke is explaining GDP to the class Mr. Boericke: Actually, back when I used to teach tennis... Student: Is there anything you haven't done? Mr. Boericke: Well... Student: Have you ever killed an endangered animal? Mr. Boericke: Are alligators endangered?

Quote 1114

2010-04-08T23:47:39Z

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// Ms. Hall is auditioning tenors for a *tenor* solo Bass: Why can't the basses try it? Ms. Hall: How tight are your shorts, boy? Bass: You have no idea...

Quote 1980

2011-06-15T01:38:10Z

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// Dr. Li wants to take a class picture, because he received flowers from the students. Mr. Orlando is taking the picture in the hallway. Dr. Li: You move here, you move here... Dr. Li: Male students! Kneel in front! Second line is female students, and third line is...whatever. *Dr. Li spends five minutes rearranging the students* Dr. Li: Okay, ready for picture. Mr. Orlando: 1...2... Dr. Li: Take three pictures! The more the better! Mr. Orlando: Okay, 1...2... Dr. Li: Take at different angles! *Warning bell rings* Dr. Li: Ahh, no!

Notes: Ah, the last day of classes...

Quote 175

2008-10-27T05:23:27Z

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// Mr. Kavanagh takes out a penny from his pocket *slams the penny on random kid's desk* Mr. Kavanagh: WHOOP-DE-DOO. VOTE FOR ME BECAUSE I OFFER REAL CHANGE! *class stays silent* Mr. Kavanagh: Get it? Real change? Forget it, you guys are all idiots.