Stuybash.org: Random Quotes

Quote 726

2009-10-06T23:55:12Z

// BC Calculus // Student keeps asking about imaginary numbers Mr. Cocoros: We won't be talking about imaginary numbers until June 11. Until then, I don't want to hear about i.

Quote 768

2009-10-22T04:15:03Z

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// Mr. Polazzo is talking about how if we didn't have any work or responsibilities, life would get really boring Mr. Polazzo: That Sunday night pressure is a symptom of the life that you're making for yourself. What would you do if you didn't have that Sunday night pressure? Student: Sunday night football!

Quote 722

2009-10-05T23:15:23Z

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// AP Euro Student 1: I can't believe you have five siblings. Student 2: I don't know any of them. Student 1: Why? Student 2: I just go home and do Dunkel's work.

Quote 409

2009-02-23T02:53:39Z

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Freshman girl: I really like this guy... but he's like 28. Freshman boy: I'm pretty sure that's illegal. Freshman girl: What do you mean? Freshman boy: Like, really illegal. Even in Russia.

Notes: http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/018065.html

Quote 304

2008-12-23T20:30:43Z

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Mr. Thomas: So that's why the universe is imperfect....pi isn't a constant!

Quote 203

2008-11-14T04:54:05Z

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// Over the PA, during class Ms. Damesek: Hello, I'm sorry for the interruption. Ms. Damesek: Mr. Poland Spring, you have to go outside, they're about to tow your truck.

Quote 1025

2010-02-07T16:41:32Z

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Mr. Mott: What do I mean when I say "you bring something to the table?" Student: We have opinions! Mr. Mott: Yea but opinion is like an a**hole... Mr. Mott: Everyone has one!

Quote 941

2010-01-08T22:55:45Z

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Student: You realize that when someone says, "Are you ticklish?" it means "I'm going to touch you now."

Quote 462

2009-03-22T21:21:00Z

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// Dr. Pilloff asks a question in biology. A student gives an answer. Dr. Pilloff: Are you sure? Do you want to bet 10 points on your quiz? Student: I don't bet. It's against my religion. Dr. Pilloff: It's against your religion? Student: And I don't believe in it either. Dr. Pilloff: How about 5 points?

Quote 224

2008-11-24T21:18:06Z

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// First day of sex unit Health teacher: Jordan, what's the street name for the scrotum? Jordan: ... 0_o .... Health teacher: Come on, you can say it. Kevin (whispering): "BALL SACK... BALL SACK" Jordan: Does anybody not know this?

Quote 981

2010-01-23T22:17:40Z

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// Ms. Bushman explaining what happens when you put coins into mercury Ms. Bushman: It would turn bright and shiny...like a new boyfriend! But then...it would get very dark.

Quote 103

2008-09-29T22:46:17Z

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// Third period morning announcements Announcer: I pledge allegiance, to the Fla— *long pause, followed by shuffling noises over the PA* Student: Did he forget the Pledge of Allegiance? Announcer: ...of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all. Dr. Esper: Only at Stuy...

Notes: It wasn't an audio problem. He just stopped for some reason.

Quote 706

2009-09-27T01:33:20Z

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// Student is meeting with Mr. Grossman, Mr. Weil, and Mr. Henderson in the English office to discuss a problem Student: I really want to talk to some adults in the school about this. Teachers (in unison): And we're the best you've got? That's sad!

Quote 123

2008-10-11T01:36:00Z

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Student: Hey, why are you late Senor Simon? Were you gelling your hair in the bathroom? Senor Simon: You spyin' on me, fool?

Quote 124

2008-10-11T17:29:10Z

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Mr. Mott: Colonial times were cool. Well, for your people, not for my people.

Notes: Mr. Mott is African-American, in case you don't get the joke.

Quote 1315

2010-05-19T22:04:23Z

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Ms Hall is giving students a speech about how magnificent she thinks the concert will be on Friday. A girl is blowing her nose and Ms Hall flips. Ms. Hall: Will you stop blowing?! It's not coming!

Quote 1055

2010-02-26T03:25:26Z

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// Polazzo answers a phone call Polazzo: Sarah Cohen-Smith, Ms. Damesek has a lost object of yours and you should go down after this period...maybe it's your youthful innocence!

Quote 173

2008-10-26T00:48:07Z

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Student 1: Are you feeling ok? You look down. Student 2: My best friend died yesterday. Student 1: I'm so sorry! That's terrible. Student 2: Yeah, reformatting is a pain.

Quote 1173

2010-04-30T02:51:23Z

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Student: Can an electron have a positive charge?

Quote 1361

2010-06-04T00:55:43Z

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Dr. Pilloff: If my phone rings, it's for a good reason. A bat flew into my face and I have to get a rabies shot.

Quote 813

2009-11-13T03:09:03Z

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Teacher: The interesting thing about Asian condoms is that... *Looks around room at all the Asian students* Teacher: Never mind.

Quote 1030

2010-02-09T23:06:19Z

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// Ms. Damesek has just announced no school the next day Ms. Hall: What? All this time I've spent listening to her announcements, and the one I actually want to hear, I didn't get to hear? Are you serious? Chorus: Serious. Ms. Hall: And they announced public schools closing for a snow day ahead of time? Ms. Hall: There must be a god.

Quote 814

2009-11-13T03:22:20Z

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Mr. Kennedy: So, what do you think about this? Yes? *Calls on student* Student: Oh, I think... *Drops something round from head* Mr. Kennedy: Oh, what was that, a cupcake? See, that's why I don't want people eating in my class... Student: No, it was this. *Holds up a yarmulke* Mr. Kennedy: Oh... Oh! OHHHH!!!! HAHAHAHA!!!!

Quote 827

2009-11-16T04:23:02Z

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// During one particularly boring biology lecture Ms. Manwell: WAKE UP! Most of you look like your eyes are half closed! Asian Student: Oh no she didn't...

Quote 1235

2010-05-11T23:44:21Z

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// A student sees the sign by the main entrance, which claimed that Mr. Teitel won a Nobel Prize, and is making a scene. Mr. Mott: *comes out of mailbox room* You are too vertically challenged to be making that much noise!

Quote 1163

2010-04-26T02:20:26Z

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// Jay ranting about Semiformal in TD1 Jay: See, I don't get why we have to have it in the cafeteria. It's like going to Afghanistan without a gun. I mean, who would do that? Student: Reporters?

Quote 561

2009-05-16T22:32:08Z

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// Talking about different countries and flags in Spanish class Sr. Garcia: ¿Como es la bandera Italiano? Scott: Es roja..., blanca..., y... verduras! // TRANSLATION Mr. Garcia: What is the Italian flag like? Scott: It's red..., white..., and... vegetables! // He was looking for "verde"

Quote 711

2009-09-30T23:38:18Z

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// Explaining the weaknesses of the Articles of Confederation Mr. Sandler: Congress is like this homeless guy with a sign saying, "Please Give."

Quote 812

2009-11-12T22:00:24Z

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Mr. Dreyfus: You see, inductors are like segregationists. They always oppose any sort of change. And at first, they're very strong, and they succeed. But as time goes on, they get weaker, and they no longer have any effect. Student: I thought you said inductors are like physics teachers! Mr. Dreyfus: They are also like physics teachers... *pause* Mr. Dreyfus: Not that physics teachers are like segregationists!!

Notes: See #552

Quote 637

2009-06-20T03:22:23Z

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Student: Mr. Esper, will you sign my yearbook? Dr. Esper: Sure, I will sign your yearbook just like you took notes in my class: I WON'T!