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// The Friday before Mother's Day
Mr. Park: Okay everyone. Your homework is just to wish your mothers a "Happy Mother's Day."
*speaking to a group of students sitting near him in the front*
Mr. Park: You know, when I used to teach in the ghettos of Brooklyn, I didn't bother giving the students this assignment. I told them "Happy Mother's Day" directly.
// Avallone is reviewing efficiency
Avallone: Remember, all temperature must be in Kelvins. Don't leave it in Celsius.
Student 1: Yeah, we're not in Chemistry.
Avallone: I would think that even in Chemistry they would use Kelvin.
Student 1: No, actually they use Celsius.
Student 2: Yeah, well Chemistry sucks.
Student 1: I know Chemistry sucks.
Avallone: Okay, no need to argue about which class sucks. If we did that we would be here all day.
// Mr. Mott is giving out ID cards
Mr. Mott: Sarah...Morgan...Cohen...Smi-... Girl, you got so many names. You could have your own law firm!
SMCS: Uhhh...thank you?
Mr. Mott: Or you should be in movies. Yeahh. Girl, if you aren't famous or a lawyer in 15 years, I am going to hunt you down.
// Discussing the British elections
Student: If there is a re-election, would the Labour Party pick someone other than Gordan Brown?
Mr. Polazzo: Yes, the aptly named Ed Balls.
*Class erupts in laughter and starts making jokes, including "Old Man Balls," "Private Balls," and "Major Balls"*
Mr. Polazzo: There is an alternative, and his name is David Testicles.
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// Mr. Realmuto tries to get the class to understand what engineers do.
Mr. Realmuto: What's the difference between an engineer, a musician and a theoretical physicist?
Student: An engineer makes things, a musician makes music...and a theoretical physicist makes...no money...
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// Dr. Pilloff accuses the class of copying the lab answers
Dr. Pilloff: A lot of these answers are the same, word for word.
Dr. Pilloff: I don't know if you copied off the web or each other...
Dr. Pilloff: The fact that they make no sense suggests you copied off each other.
// Talking about gas warfare during WW1
Ms. Dunkel: Call me a pacifist and all, but I just don't get it. What kind of person thinks poison gas is a good idea?!
Student: Well...it worked.
Ms. Dunkel: Yeah. While the wind was blowing in their favor. Imagine what happened when that changed. They all just said oops and dropped dead!
// A large map of Asia is hanging on the wall
Dr. Stern: So, U.S. relations with Japan didn't change much after their start.
// The thumbtacks spontaneously pop out of the wall and the whole map clatters loudly to the floor, revealing a map of South America underneath.
Dr. Stern: Now, moving on to U.S. interests in South America...
// Discussing NYU Courant Institute's cSplash
Ms. Pascu: You guys should totally try and get a Courant Institute t-shirt. It's an in thing. Like, if normal people see it, they won't think anything of it. But if a dork sees it, they'll think it's so cool.
Notes: (unrelated: went to cSplash '07 and Splash '08 and couldn't buy a shirt either time. :( -xow)
// Ms. Breslin and Kyle regarding the English Regents
Ms. Breslin: The most important thing to remember about the regents is...?
Kyle: Not to fall asleep!
Ms. Breslin: Kyle...I think you should retroactively fail the regents.
Ms. Breslin: Don't do one thing...
Kyle: OH, I wrote "I know that you are as tired as I am, but please, bear with me"...
Class: That?
Ms. Breslin: Yeah...
Ms. Breslin: Also, don't write "This is Sparta."
Ms. Breslin: Also on time...Someone got really bored and drew one person shooting someone else
Ms. Breslin: Uh yeah. Don't do that...
Ms. Breslin: The first thing you should do is...?
Kyle: TAKE A NAP!
Ms. Breslin: *sigh* Kyle...
Ms. Breslin: The FIRST thing you should do is PUT EVERYTHING KYLE SAID OUT OF YOUR MIND.
Ms. Breslin: The second thing you should do is read the instructions!
Notes: Someone's been saving up Breslin quotes for the end of term...